Open Letter to the Emergency Room Staff

To the Admitting Nurse: Now is not the time to tell me that my deductable for emergency services is the highest you have ever seen.

To the Triage Nurse: He is only five, and a child of the new millenium. He has never seen a thermometer that is meant to be held under his tongue. Please be patient.

To the Doctor who said, "I'll be right back." after examining Thing Two without sharing any thoughts about his condition or what the next step may be: "I'll be right back" does not mean the same thing as, "forty five minutes from now a nurse you have never seen will poke her head in and casually mention that the x-ray tech should be here any minute to take him down for a CAT scan."

To the X-Ray Tech: If you want him to stay completely still during the scan, perhaps you should warn him that the machine is going to make a godawful noise while he is in there.

To the Nurse Ginger and second doctor we saw (Dr. I'll Be Right Back, never came back.) you both rock! Thank you.


Thing Two went home with a huge bump on his head, a beautiful brain scan, a refillable ice pack and a great story about taking a ride on a bed with wheels.