The Conversation

Daily, for the last seven years, basically since Thing One could speak, we have been having a variation on the following conversation:

Mommy?
Yes?
(long pause as Thing One stares absently into the middle distance.)
What?
Oh. Nothing.

Perhaps an hour passes:

Mommy?
Yes?
(long pause as Thing One stares...)
What?
Huh? Oh. I forget.

Later in the day:

Mommy?
Yes?
(long pause as Thing One stares...)
What?
Hmmm. Nevermind.
(short pause as I gather my inner resources.)
Are you sure you do not have something you need to talk about?
No. I just like to say your name.

You can imagine how annoyed one might become by this.

Well, today I called my mother and we had this interchange:

Hello?
Hi, Mom.
(long pause)
(I giggle self-consciously)
Um, I don't really have anything to say. I just wanted to say "hi."

:)

The Little Nurse

I was sick with a fever and some tummy troubles on Friday and my darling children allowed me an entire day in bed. And no, amazingly, they were not watching TV all day. And I only sent them to seperate rooms once, due to a great amount of screaming at one another. I have no idea why they were screaming at one another, and even if I were feeling well, I would not have asked. I have no interest in being judge and jury - both of you are unhappy with one another? Off to your rooms you go. Don't bother telling me it was his fault. I do not care. Go calm down. This discipline method grew out of laziness on my part, but it works really well. After 15 minutes or so, I usually hear one or the other of them creeping down the hall to the other's room to apologize. Then I think maybe hugs are exchanged and she reads him a story. All I know is that they are quietly playing in the same place again.

But the stunning part of my day was when I was starting to feel a bit better and asked Thing One to bring me some crackers. Proudly she came with two saltines and a little napkin.

"I am only bringing two because, when I am sick, you bring me two crackers and tell me to eat them very slowly. Eat them slowly, Mommy."

Oh dear me! I thought, she is really paying close attention! To every little thing I do! Every little random choice I make! And, of course, I knew this - that I am her example of how to be a Mommy, a wife, a person. But I think maybe in the hustle and bustle of the everyday, I was not as conscious of it as I should be.

Am I living the way I want her to live? Am I valuing the things I want her to value? Is our home the kind of home I want her to conjur in her mind when she thinks of home?