Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Staying Out of the Etsy Forums: A Pledge

I hesitate to label this One Small Change - I have not done any small changes in more than a month and of the ones I set this summer, I have not kept up half of them. Hello, Coca Cola, welcome back.

Anyway, two things happened at once.
1. My dear friend Denys had to google me and post a comment on my blog in order to get me to return her phone calls. Denys and I have been friends since the dark days when Thing One was the only Thing, and she was not yet a talking Thing. We attended Gymboree classes once a week so that I could pretend to interact with adults. We wandered the empty halls of the mall on a Wednesday morning, just because we had to get out of the house. Then Denys appeared. Lo, a mom who could make me laugh. A mom who enjoyed talking about more than babies (though there was plenty of that talk too.) A mom who shared my political beliefs. Whoot! Feeling low at 4PM because you know it will be at least another 2 hours before Geoff gets home - call Denys and talk while making dinner! The weather is beautiful and you know a good mother would take her child to the park, but you cannot stand the thought of standing there mindlessly pushing the swing for an hour - call Denys - she'll meet you there and you will have FUN! Yep, my friendship with Denys saved me from some serious depression. Then you know the story - I moved, she started a business, I started a business....But my point is - this is a friend whose calls should be returned in a timely fashion.

2. Over a couple days, earlier this week I spent a sum total of at least four hours trying to unravel an Etsy forum mystery - who were the banned members? Why were they banned? Was it warranted? I read pages of forum posts, articles and comments on the UEN (Unofficial Etsy News) and various Etsy sellers' blogs. By the time I was done, I was exhausted by the drama, the narcissism and the negativity. I am too tired, (and smart) to share all my thoughts on this matter, and really, it has nothing to do with me, so who cares?

Since I am unable to read forum posts without getting sucked into the drama, I am done reading the forums.

Surely this will free up some time to make new jewelry, list new jewelry, catch up with blog reading, and actually have coffee with a (gasp!) real, live friend.


Recy Vintage & Creations said...

I'm with you on staying off the Etsy forums. I stopped going there long ago. There is just WAY too much drama there and, like you say, we are just too smart to get sucked into it all. I also find a lot who post there to be quite trivial and stuck-up. Anyway, good on you for declaring that a thing of the past!


Karen Beth :)

Tricia said...

I hear ya sista! The Etsy forums can suck you in, and leave no time for creating and i can't stand the drama on there sometimes, i too can spend too much time there!!! The other day when i posted about a puppy problem, one lady berated me for crate training and leaving outside on a line, and in a rude manner! Jeesh! Although alot of nice people posted too and i received alot of helpful advice!
I tried to give up Coke too, but did not succeed, so i have a couple a week, everything in moderation!

Craftymoose Crafts said...

I, too, have shied away from most of the forum posts. I do enjoy participating in Jewelstreet's creative challenge and I do answer the odd post looking for a specific gift. I know these are not the ones you are referring to.

Of course, I am older than most of those posting all the drama--and alot of it is posted long after I am asleep! I have started to read some of these and then stop myself and think, "What do I care?".

Has it hurt sales for me? Since I don't have a wildly successful shop anyway, probably not. And since I never posted in these drama threads, it didn't help to read them either!

Good topic!

Steph said...

Debbie (CraftyMoose)-
I agree, I miss Jewelstreet's creative challenges - they are always full of positive people and warm wishes. said...

Good pledge.
Nasty, unchecked behavior from insecure,immature people.
No, not all of them.
I check when I wonder if something is going wrong technically.

So YAY! Put down that mouse and pick up those pliers!

Sorry about the soda, are you able to drink less?

Steph said...

Yes, soda consumption is limited to the days when my patience has been exhausted and I do not have time to "treat" myself in a healthier fashion.

Beck said...

Heh - staying out of forums in general seems like a good idea!

msbelle said...

I'm with you Steph. I go there and read a bit and then wonder why I came. Apparently they don't get much drama in their real lives I suppose. It's good to read what's going wrong on the site and why and things like that, but I don't hang out there and play their games. I'm also older than most, so you're right. Who cares?

stilettoheights said...

I did the same etsy forum drama as you....

I am all but off the forums and have been for months, I try and do the creative challenges, my daily blog thread, and the SNS, but other than that I am all but a ghost.

eva said...

I did n`t get into Etsy forums. I use it when I have question or two and that`s it. I used to do promotions too, but not so often any more.
Funny, but I don`t feel anything about drama in there. I feel, people are not saying sincerely what they think. Too polite or too modest. And I know if someone puts their personal stories up there, they will not likely find any help from there.
I must say, I have hanged in Estonian forums and these are horrible compared to Etsy. So much hate, so many words that you don`t say in presence of your kids if ever, etc. Etsy is Kindergarten compared to this specific forum I`m talking about. So this experience has given me some amount of cynicism so I don`t get involved.
So I`m happy about your pledge :)
What about Coke?
I don`t like it. Sometimes I drink it but, it`s more likely once in two - three months :) Can you replace it with something similar?

Thanks for sharing your pledge with us, and for your story about your real! friend. I can only dream about friends here........

sara.wears.skirts said...

i hate to sound like just a giant etsy cheerleader here, but i hope that maybe you'll take up browsing the storque in lieu of the forums (i guess i'm asking you to forget i'm on etsy payroll for a hot minute). the storque is fun articles (not too long or time sucking), site news, opportunities, etc etc. so it's like the best of the forums. only drama-free. and there'll even be one funny forum quote (just a little blurb) on occasion, so you'll get your fill of wit without having to skim through endless threads. or touch the etc forum. yay, right?

Jenn Maruska said...

I think you may be one of many, many people who lurkingly (I think I just made a new word!) tried to unravel that forum drama. It sucked me in, too. And, like you, in the end I find myself asking why I've spent the time, esp. since I feel that I cannot change the situation.

I pledge: "more creation, less drama!"

What a wonderful story about your should hold on to her! : )

Steph said...

Don't get me wrong, I am a huge Etsy fan. And I will definately still be reading the Storque.

abbey753 said...

I know what you mean Steph about the forum , I only go when I have too ,
Benny is feeling a little better , the old man still has a little energy left he was barking at the mail man today so that is a good sign. Oh I almost forgot You have been tagged. Check out my blog for the details on what to do.

the best Lou

Anonymous said...

I also lurked around reading the threads about the muted and banned members. Took up alot of painting time for me. I have noticed a change in postings and people lately. Things can get mean quickly for little or no reason. I'm sticking mostly to promotions and bugs now. Sort of afraid to post for fear of offending someone. I'm rooting for you on the kick the coke habit, I'm trying to kick diet pepsi...hard thing to do.

gilfling said...

Oh what wonderful words about your friend - I agree - these are the things that are important. I too got sucked into the etsy drama, spent far too many hours on it and at the was sad that I had wasted so much time when I could and should have been doing other things. So it is my pledge too - life is too short and creating and friends and family time are what matters!

ebbandflo said...

i'm trying to wean but it's not working terribly well. i've cut down considerably (judging by my "threads you have posted in" pages)

maybe i'll just go cold turkey! ........... or maybe i'll go the whole hog and just get muted again