I am going to try to make a long story short. My aunt came to pick up the little girls we watch on Mondays (now to be known as Giggles and Smiley), and as she was walking in the door, Thing Two and I were rushing to the "potty." I usually help her get the girls into the car, so I gave Thing Two strict instructions to stay on the potty - "I will be right back. I am going outside to help Aunt Cathy. DO NOT get up until I come back." (Because he is still learning how to take care of the wiping, if you must know.)
Cathy followed me into the garage and as she closed the door, she said, "Uh Oh." The door was locked. Thing Two was inside on the potty alone, and I was locked out of the house. The neighbor with a key was at work. My mother was in Maryland.
So I freaked out.
I seriously was so panicked, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
After spending an eternity (maybe 2 and a half minutes) walking in circles around the driveway muttering "What am I going to do?" over and over, I thought I should check all the windows on the first floor on the off chance that we had neglected to lock one.
The most likely window was our bathroom window. I was standing there trying to figure a way to get to the window without destroying the screen, when I heard Thing Two singing to himself. We then had this conversation:
"Thing Two, can you hear me?
"Mommy? Where are you?"
"What are you doing?"
"Well, I am locked out."
"Hmm, Mommy, how are you going to help me when you are locked out?"
"Thing Two, could you please get off the potty and go open the garage door?"
When he opened the door, I said "You're my hero!"
He looked at me with frustration. "Mommy, superheroes save people from monsters. I am just the boy who opened the door."